Divorce, Child Custody, Parental Alienation, and the Effects on the Children

This is a very touchy subject with many people including myself. I believe Family Court judges should have a psychology degree before deciding the fate of a family. This week, I was in a dispute with a gentleman from the UK. He is all for supporting only men who have lost custody, been alienated from their children, went through a nasty divorce, etc. I, on the other hand, support BOTH mothers and fathers who have been victims to this quite common worldly problem. I do not dispute that men are also victims or that they commit suicide because of these issues, BUT I do know that many women have endured the same. Fathers and Mothers who have been victims should stand together, not fight against each other. That is what I could not get this man to understand. If you have been divorced with kiddos and you get along with your ex for the children, sharing and caring for them equally… count yourself lucky and rare.

Losing custody of your kids without a good reason and then being alienated from them just because your ex is angry is extremely hard on the parent. These circumstances are even worse for the kiddos. This affects them their whole lives, into their adult lives and their future relationships. Kids need relationships with both parents and should be able to freely love both parents without feeling like they are betraying the other one. These kiddos go through depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, problems with drugs/alcohol, suicidal ideations, PTSD, and the list continues.

Parental alienation is when one parent deletes the other parent from the child’s life. Keeping them from their visitations, brainwashing the kids into thinking that the alienated parent is “bad”, abusive, or does not care about the child, and just purposefully keeps the other parent out of their lives. If a parent was close and loving to the child before the divorce, then after the divorce there is not any relationship at all between them, it is most likely Parental Alienation which is child abuse. In nasty divorces, most likely one of the parents is abusive.

Current Stats as of 2020: 70% of all abusive fathers are granted full custody, in cases of child sexual abuse the percentage goes up to 85%. Only 2% of child sexual abuse reported is believed by the courts, less than 2% of mothers lie about abuse, whereas fathers are 16 times more likely to lie about abuse at the hands of the mother, etc.